11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Do you have a fear of standing alone at your company party with nobody to talk to and no way to break the ice? Have no fear, F&J is here! Here’s a quick and dirty arsenal of one-liner jokes that are sure to make you the life of the party. Rest assured that nobody will still be talking to you when you’re done spouting these beauties off.


Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!

Which country has the squarest sheep? Cuba.

Regardless of what the Borg said, resistance is NOT futile, it’s just voltage divided by current!

What makes the scarecrow so good at his job? He’s outstanding in his field!

Hey, have you seen that crazy one-legged midget that hangs around outside of Wal-Mart and hides from ugly people? Oh, of course you haven’t.

Why does a chicken coop has two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

What do Jewish women get when they go to the gynecologist? A pap sch
mear!

So I walked in on my dad chopping Onions one day… and it made me cry. Onions was my favorite cat.

To whom do agnostics pray? To whom it may concern.

what did the zero say to the eight? Hey man, nice belt!

What do you get when you mix Viagra with Chuck E. Cheese? Kicked out.

Do you know any other classless one-liner jokes? Maybe something your dad said, or your something “friend” used to try and impress some chick before she rolled her eyes and bad mouthed him to all her friends even though he was just trying to be friendly and nice and she was being a total bit… nevermind. Post ’em up, folks!